My Bright Darkness

Sunrise Betrayal Pt. 2 (The Other Being's Perspective)

2009-11-05T20:13:00.000-08:00

..."Do you recognize me?"
If only I could catch a glimpse
Of your grand design.
Your grand desire.
I'd see the truth and be repelled.

Through your facade,
I smell the putrid deceit.
But yet, it happens.
I know it happens.
I've seen it all.
Even all that is hidden.
And I sit in silence...
...Because that is what keeps it turning.

Sunrise Betrayal Pt. 1 (Woman's Perspective)

2009-11-05T20:09:00.001-08:00

Oh, what an inspiring man to envy.
A man that consists of only two parts: murder and vanity.
He's such a nurturing man of conceit and pride.
Conceit and pride are the only things he nurtures.
Not me.
Probably not anyone.
I don't want to believe it...
...But I know it.

He is hollow inside, I'm dreaming.
The other being curses the world.
Yes, curses the world.
Because that is what keeps it turning.

His face is dripping with the hurt of many.
All of the ones he's promised, and then given them hell.
Yes, he gave them hell.
Because that is what keeps it turning.

We are all sinners. It is something we can't get away from.
Sometimes I think about my sins of the past.

The other being did awake me from my sleep.
He opened my eyes.
"Do you recognize me?"
The other being had fragile, futile eyes.
Eyes that told a story.
A story that I do not wish to tell,
Because it hurts, it burdens on my heavy heart.

This inspiring man, I spoke to him,
Even though the other being...
..."I have no place in the world without you."
Because that is what keeps it turning.

four-leaf Clover

2009-09-14T10:33:00.000-07:00

I, too, was young once.
A young boy always feels, but sometimes will not act.

It was a day in sunny bright September, many years ago,
When I first laid eyes on Milady.
Her hair, gracefully flowing in the wind.
Her eyes, piercing like the tip of a sword.
Those eyes pierced me right through.

I, too, was young once.
Some think that a young boy's thoughts are foolish.
But sometimes they are proven wrong.

Time had passed, many years ago
But she still lingered.
A young boy's courage is often weak,
And it was those eyes...
Those sky-blue eyes.
Those eyes pierced me right through.

I, too, was young once.
But that was many years ago.
A man's courage is often stronger now.
It is then, when I felt, and could also act.

I remember finding a four-leaf Clover that day,
And claimed it as my good luck charm.
I walked up to Milady.
Those eyes pierced me right through.

But it was those eyes that yielded my courage,
And kept me going all the way through.
And to this day,
I still have you, my darling Clover, you.

Vermin

2009-09-11T07:16:00.000-07:00

I reckon y'all need to know who I am.
It was me who ran these parts.
Sheriff of 2 years.
It ran in my blood, they say.
I didn't think so back then, until that day.
The go'damn guy haunted me.
Grandfather was a lawman, I suppose
I got it from him.
Haunted two go'damn years...

Back then, those guys they never holster'd.
I guess I didn't feel the need to either.
Them folks up here find that hard to believe,
But them southe'ners don't think too unlikely.

I always liked to hear 'bout them folks,
But the go'damn guy haunted me.
Maybe not the younger, but now.

If only the go'damn guy knew 'bout me.
I ain't never missed a chance;
Knew ev'ryone's phone number off by heart,
Knew they'd all stay away.
I can't help but compare me to the go'damn bastard.
Can't help but wonder what he'd do if I ever found 'em.
I ain't never holster'd,
I reckon knuckles would do.

There was this boy once I sent away back town,
And Lord knows I'd not hesitate twice.
But this was different, I reckon.

Fucking guy, I'd get him.
The papers'd call it a crime of passion.
I'd call it necessary;
Go'damn guy nearly killed her;
There'd be no passion about it.

I'd been plannin' on gettin' him for 'slong as I could remember.
I'd not even turn m'self in, because I know go'damn right he'd do it again unless I was there.

Met him in a dream once,
Told him he was going to hell.
He said he knew.
I didn't quite know what to make of that.

I knew from the beginning:
To do my job, you'd have to be willin' to die.
I'd die if the go'damn fucker was comin' too.
At least that way she'd be safe.
If he didn't, I'd get myself into somethin' I don't understand.

If I ever holster'd 'em, I'd lose my soul to an already soul-less man.
Even if it'd take everythin' outta me, I'd get him.

So I took nothin' with me 'cept my fists and my words.
And began my walk south.

Coin Toss

2009-06-02T08:22:00.000-07:00

'What's the most you've ever lost on a coin toss?'
We sit in wait, and let life pass by.

I sat under a tree one time, and it talked to me.
The branches grabbed me by the neck,
It squeezed, and squeezed.
It would not let go until I answered.

The sun was beating down.
The wind was so strong, it blew the thoughts out of my head.
I just sat there.
I sat and waited for death.
I sat and waited.

I still have those scars;
Those scars that were left by the tree and it's branches.

It repeated;
'What's the most you've ever lost in a coin toss?'

I did not answer.
My life flashed before my eyes.

And then I woke up.
I lay there, with a coin in my hand.

I flipped it.
'Heads.'

I knew I would stand to win everything.
I uncovered the quarter, and heads it was.

But I did not put this coin back in my pocket.
Or it'll get mixed in with the others and become just a coin.

Which it is.

Claustraphobia

2009-03-16T19:04:00.000-07:00

The weather was perfect that day.

I remember it like a hole in the wall.

Transparent designs lingered in the clouds,

Whispering a dull-grey.

It was at that point

I began itching my skin until it bled,

Waiting for you to give me the means to an end,

Telling me about the man that I should have been.

This is where the angels sin.

And just when I thought

This was all I had to lose,

The black skies parted.

It rained a shade of red that day.

I remember it like a hole in the wall.

Translucent tears shed in the trench,

Screaming a dull-grey.

It was today I was scared;

Was I to be stuck inside these walls?

Existence is just a claustrophobic confinement.

Red

2008-01-21T10:06:00.000-08:00

Hang my nerves out to dry
In the fraction of a moment,
While I'm tattered, torn, and awake.
Your waves hit the shore, then flood.
Look me in the face
And taste my blood.

Bewilderment is just a voice in your head
From the time of innoncence to the time of night.
As dusk falls and you come out to prey,
Know that tragedy is all I am today.
The blasphemy I am is aimed only at the sun.

The eve of our twilight
Creeps with a murderous thirst.
Pain in blood is paid only in blood.

The Nature of Headaches, Nosebleeds, and Dreams

2008-01-20T20:36:00.000-08:00

The relapse collapses the entities.
My skin turns into dry bark,
Crawling with infestation.

Leeches and ticks fuel the itch,
Spreading the disease.
Black skies and bloodshot eyes
Foretell the decaying birch.

Savagery can go side-by-side with harmony,
Grappling with haunting nature
And revolutionary dreams.

Symmetrical headaches and proportional nosebleeds
Live under the cracks in the wall,
Inhaling the dust,
Exhaling the result.

With the drop of a pin,
Your world will deroot
And the trees will no longer grow.
Eclipses wallow in sadness
At the break of dawn.
Moonlight chariot rides
Occur in the house of flies,
And do not stop 'til death.

Harmony becomes savagery,
Headaches become nosebleeds,
And zero becomes one.
Haunting nature becomes your revolutionary dream,
And so it begins.

Grey skies and true lies
Only end in a false demise.

My Mind Is Prosthetic

2008-01-20T20:27:00.000-08:00

I was once enraptured by frost
As my mind escaped into the ten-thousand realities of my life.

My mind melted into an obsidian
Which was carved into the dust of tomorrow.

My mind twisted into an eclipse
Where lies and deceit exist in boundless time.

My mind decayed into an absense
Where branches snap from the force of the wind.

My mind coiled into string
Which reeled in the malice.

My mind evolved into an illusion
Where the blood and the rhine stain eternity.

My mind circled into an oblivion
Where emotion is just one step behind.

My mind fell into an invulnerability
Where fate matches fear.

My mind is prosthetic.

Skydiving

2008-01-20T20:16:00.000-08:00

A true test of wit and faith
Is not governed by consolidation with the heavens.
Self-constituted earthquakes
Pattern the skies with unending flurries
Of arc-angels,
Constantly plucking their harps,
Though distinctly out of tune with the clouds.
But if these harps were forever tuned,
Insecurity would never end.

Once the final diminished note is played,
The soil will split.
And although only a tiny slit,
It is big enough for those who fall from grace
To slip between.

Insomnia

2008-01-20T20:10:00.000-08:00

Living in my dreams deprives me of my sleep.
Yawning only fills my head with polluted and skewed waves,
And although my eyes are open,
Clarity is nothing short of irrational.
Rarely do my eyes ever close.

It is impossible to identify the "natural laws" held to exist
By those who began the science of sleep.
And although I cannot sleep,
I will not be weak.
Sleep is for the weak.
If it so happens that my mind will drift away,
My body will stay in tact,
In this life
And my past life.

My thoughts will fall
And my eyes will grow dull,
But I will not surrender myself
To the world of dreams,
Where insecurity secures all reality.
I do not want to go through that again.

The Blackening of the Sky (Praying For Blood)

2008-01-20T20:02:00.000-08:00

My stream of consciousness plays a song of sorrow.
It consists of only a single note,
The lowest note.
Indistinguishable from thunder and sunlight,
The note plays no harmony
And no melody.

Operatic willows sway in the currect,
Playing the blues
And praying for blood.

Her presence lingers in my touch.
I can still taste the stale nail polish
And the perfume that she bathes in.

When the lights are off,
She won't disappear not matter how hard I try
To erase her from my words,
Written in stone.
When the lights are on,
She glows.
Nothing can make her fade away.

With my head hanging low, she asked me;
"What is the meaning of this shattered existence?"
My only reply
Was one that I could not find.
But I knew if I did not give her an answer,
This nightmare of deliverance will reap my soul, endlessly.

I Painted An Image With Her Blood

2007-11-14T12:38:00.001-08:00

The cold steel caresses her face
And the lead kisses her temple.
Transfixed in her image,
I am taken back by the half-second it takes
For the bullet to pierce her skin
And watch her fall to the floor.

I have searched for an explanation
As to why she had to die.
The personality of her soul was painted a bright red
Until she wrote her own conclusion,
In which she lived happily ever after.

Nothing can bring her back.

The cold steel caresses my face
And the lead kisses my temple.
Transfixed in my own image,
I wait for that half-second.
The bullet never did piece my skin
And I never fell to the floor.

I have searched for an explanation
As to why I cannot die.

Falling Into Infinity

2007-11-14T12:33:00.001-08:00

My robotic arms sway in your thoughts
At the intersection of dying leaves,
Where dying dreams become cold and split in two.

Pyramid skies reflect your dying eyes.
Drift through the black night where your dying love lies.
In you, I despise.
In you, I will die.
You are the scars of time.

From darkness comes the light.
From morning comes the night.
The afternoon brings only pain.

Frozen and burning,
I will walk through infinity.
Lest we not be blessed.
I am the reincarnate of withering ages.

Come rain, fog, or the holy ghost,
We will not wash away .
Forever will live a life of trepidation.

We are not characterized by time and space,
But rather a lack of a break in the wind.

Archaic Beauty

2007-11-14T12:26:00.000-08:00

The passage of time was once diagnosed with schizophrenia
Which developed from a pause in the beholder of your dreams.
Your world is not a universe,
Slipping between the cracks
Of irrationally patterned broken mirrors.

An archaic beauty dances in the trees,
Drowning in the psychotic rhetorical questions
Of personal appeal and elmination,
Parallel structural injection,
And illusions, menacing.

The in-depth viewpoints
Of the mind in disguise
Reflects the shining dull patterns
And transformations
That were torn from the inside.

Drunk from the scent of her stagnant perfume,
Floating away in a world of parallel dreams.
Living a life of imitation
Cannot be ashamed by Mother April.

Hiding in the light,
Blinded by the shadows
Written in the subtext,
Ending a prologue to misery.
The rhetoric is on fire.
Your souls are burning
Like a snowy day in June,
Where those who rest
Will not awake.

I Am Not A Function Of Outer Circumstances But Of Inner Conditions (My Bright Darkness)

2007-09-30T18:48:00.001-07:00

Finding a ray of light
Through the shards of broken glass
That are being used to line up
Your cheap cocaine soul.

The words stick to you
Like black paper doll decays,
Put back together in an abstract pattern.
Your nicotine-stained heart
Cannot beat without your formaldehyde blood.

My spleen will burst,
And I will erase you first
From my fluid-like excess thoughts,
Until my mind tells me
That I don't need you.
I will play my last tune for you,
My love,
And it will not end
Until I get my revenge.

Minds twist and turn under the ground;
The tap runs dry
And your veins run cold.
Hell freezes over.

A mathematical sphere
Between a scream and it's shadow
Can be found outside,
In a world where the sky waits to fall
And the surface splits,
Separating the claws of laughter
From the fingers that cry.
Those fingers have a tight grip on you,
And they will not let go.
They will protect you.
You belong in them.
You will burn in them.
The tears they cry will not put out your flames.
The tears they cry will not cleanse you.
You will remain as grey as the ashes
And as dark as the sun.
The light of the stars
Nor the reflection of the moon
Will create patterns in the sky.

And I will sit and wait for you
In my bright darkness.

extremum vitae spiritum edere

2007-09-23T18:00:00.000-07:00

Thalidomide skin wrapped in glass;
A bipolar hollowed dark of the past.
Listen to the holy ghost;
It speaks of a cancerous zero that holds no secret.
Feel the souls etched in dispensible saints,
Caloused by dull fingernails digging into your flesh.

The hardest part is knowing that I can never forget you.

Death Rides On Angel Wings

2007-09-12T19:49:00.000-07:00

Inconquerable thoughts are weapons in the night.
Armoured mirrors and reflections of steel
Will steal her soul away.
The wicked and the damned
Ride in on horse-drawn carriages
Upon the evening of an existance
That is left frozen and cold.
The towering horizon will not melt.

A strange beauty surrounds
The familiar sounds
Of twisting tongues,
Wrapped around a day's embrace
And the full moon that follows.

Through the ages
Fate was served on a silver plate,
Soaked in blood
That spilled from drawn lines in the sand.
The night sky continues burning.
The night sky continues churning.
The night sky continues learning.
The night sky burns out.
A candle flickers.
A match is lit.
A spark flies.
And then you die.

The glass shatters.
Drapes fall.
The curtain rises.
The stars collide.

Shadowing the sun,
Breathing in the wind,
Unforgotten by those who live
Beneath the essence of the meadows.
As her lips speak only of wrath
And a kingdom of fear,
Praying that we might burn like fire
And hear the roars and screams;
For Death rides on angel wings.

Only I Can See The Day

2007-09-11T18:40:00.001-07:00

Cold shivers run down my icy spine
In a mid-day of June,
At it's best when it's glass-smooth.
I carve out circles in my mind,
Where nothing exists until something is placed.

The red ink writes in black and blue,
And your thoughts stretch
As part of the body of an elastic band.

Using the influential imprint of death,
As tears shed between the walls of reality,
We'll never see the day
Until the choirs of the vanished sing.

Take this lethal dosage
And sing your last song.

Grotesque Gardens

2007-09-11T18:36:00.000-07:00

Flickering lights illuminate the darkness in my head.
Today, it will not stop raining.
Only the grotesque gardens
Will be quenched from the acidic drops.

Drink from the poisonous puddles.
Only the innocent reside in the ashes.
The wind will blow the dry leaves
As they crumble under your feet:
A reminder that life does not last forever.

A life of decay is not a life to live.
Those who decay in the garden of the grotesque will suffer.

My Eyes Will Meet Her Demise

2007-09-10T19:12:00.000-07:00

Her veins flow
With only the finest wine,
Trickling down into the first day of autumn.

I have spoken with the leaves;
They told of lost treasures -
Treasures that glisten in the sun
But appear dull to the human eye.
Only a retina chased by fire
Will ever have the ability to see.

On the seventh minute to sundown
Her eternal sadness will hide.
And she will be no more
When my eyes meet her demise.

And I'll Put These Flames Out With Gasoline

2007-09-09T19:48:00.000-07:00

We bleed the skies
And feel a sickness within.
The fire spreads under my skin,
And with open arms
I let it burn
Until my soul turns black.

As the demons scream for more,
Your venom flows through me.
It thins my blood
And puts me into a world
Of poisoned thoughts,
Broken memories,
Solemn reveries...

I fill my cup with murderous intent
And drink from the vine.
My moment of clarity begins.

Hell follows,
But needs no road map.
Dread the day when I'll be left unchained
And I'll put these flames out with gasoline.

Peel my skin
Unforgiven sin
And the world caves in...

I scream her name
From within the flames
And feel no pain...

We bleed the skies
And today, it rains blood.

It's Hard To Scream When You Can't Breathe

2007-08-21T18:38:00.000-07:00

Stuck between a shadow and a dream,
Lost inside my mind and my fate,
I find my way to nowhere, fast;

Death-grip on my ashes
With the embers burning a translucent dull-grey,
I am brought back to a moment
When I thought this was all I had.
Opening the screaming gates,
I will find you, and hide...
And in the tides,
Become the one who brings about your end.

You don't have much time.
You will realize.
You can be erased with the flip of a switch
Or the stroke of a pen
Or in the blink of an eye.
Your will is written in blood.

Goodbye, my darling.
Be gone.

In Death

2007-07-15T21:01:00.000-07:00

I float through thoughts.
Organic dreams are staring.
Focus only brings me back to the unending.
I am all things in a void of grey.
I shed the skin as the world of dead calls me.

The Poison In Her Veins Will Flow

2007-06-30T21:02:00.000-07:00

Moments are frozen in time
As the hourglass shatters.
Sand spills from the inner being,
No longer trapped in a glass encasing.

The staring eyes will pierce your shell
With intent to soil your reflections.
Shadowing life,
We are alone within ourselves.

Take a deeper look inside.

Light cannot be blinding
If all you see is dark.
A broken, altered outlined figure,
No longer a prisoner of revolving time.

Guided by insight,
The poison in her veins will flow.

Take a deeper look inside.
And see what you're made of.

My Teeth Are Like Knives

2007-06-25T21:32:00.001-07:00

The scattered puzzle of my redemption
Will not prevent me from obtaining
A guided fear of a search for the perfect shade of black.

As Infants Are Painted, I Wear The Skin Of The Morning Star

2007-06-25T21:12:00.000-07:00

The traces of future
Will erase the haunting of your past.
Encased in forests of black tongue rot,
The veins in my forehead will burst
And reveal.

Spiraling downward,
You do not know what you are looking for
But you will find it anyways.
In time, time is lost.
Lost in time,
In time you will come to understand.

You were given a key,
But no room for which it is used.
Behind one door, a disease.
Behind another, misguided intent.
It's a confessed disease
That only few live to feel.

Dissect my trust.
Punish my faith.
Twist my trust.
Never more will I feel.
Never more will I know.
Never more will it snow in my head.
Never more will my dead eyes pierce the night.

The Cysts In My Eyes Will Not Prevent Me From Seeing The Real World

2007-06-20T08:18:00.001-07:00

As the rain falls,
It mocks you.
As the branches sway in the wind,
They laugh at you
And the wind just blows you away.

Gold melts into silver
So that the value of life is diminished.
Turning away from the sun,
My skin burns a dull golden bronze
And I feel the cancer sleeping.
It sleeps like you sleep -
Spreading
Worrying
Painful.

I can't see through the cysts
That have formed in my eyes,
And a single tear
Triggers too much pain.
I feel too much pain.
And this nightmare will melt away.

When the sky finally falls
And the rest of the world opens up,
My eyes will bleed.
For my bloody tears
Will cleanse the tainted hearts
And then I will die.

Angel

2007-06-19T20:32:00.000-07:00

I saw you coming from miles away
Although I was blind.
And you never faded.
There were open wounds
And scars that we thought would never heal,
But the day will come
When time stands still
And the damage will come undone.

The voice you left inside my head
Tore into my soul
And testified to heal my wounds inside.

The hollow sky rots,
And shades of grey live in the darkness of the night.
It was all another day of misery
Until you turned back the clock.
When I thought the sky fell to pieces,
You left me with a glimpse of light.

Sinking deeper into your reality,
In your arms I will breathe.

You've carved yourself into me
And I will never forget.
In your arms I will breathe.

As I walk through life
I know there is only one path.
The path leads to your heart.

The veins of glass
Will not shatter our world.

Suffering In Truth

2007-06-18T09:57:00.001-07:00

I'm sleeping, but aware I'm lost again;
Fall into an oblivion of fire.
Our souls will burn to ash;
A twilight world, transfixed.

Forever vanished, a lifetime;
My vague eyes fading.
See me, subsequent reality;
We are all components of the same machine.

Look into my eyes;
They don't lie.
How can I stop anything from being real?
Suffocating in this false reality;
Awake from the grip...

Forever tarnished, unlock your mind;
Scars of my innocence.
The pressure of alternate humanity,
We are all contents of a life, dying.

Mesmerized by the flames of the past
As I return into the day,
I change myself to unseen,
Suffering in truth.

Mirrored Minds

2007-06-18T09:51:00.000-07:00

My misery has been carved in stone.
You made me feel this way, I know.
This unending pain is all the same.
A darkened portrait of the fall of man.

At the crossroads between heaven and hell,
Stuck in purgatory,
The mirrored minds will tell your lies;
A faded landscape of me, dead inside.

This reality is what makes me human.
This reality is what makes me real.
You've ridden of all other possibilities,
Engraved with hate and your false reasons.

I can't be the person you want me to be,
Imprinted in what's been proven before.
Don't bother and waste your time with this;
You created this fork in the road.

Tetrachlorodibenzo-p-dioxin

2007-06-18T09:45:00.000-07:00

I feel a numbness in me
For which there is no emotional release.
The grieving process, the idea of loss,
Beyond the natural feeling of sadness.

Feeling powerless and unfairly deprived,
I walk through the valley of remorse.

A person's perspective on a lost interaction cannot phase me.

The reflection I see in a shattered window
Is different than what you see in me.

Equilibrium

2007-06-18T09:43:00.000-07:00

Contacts
Conflicts
Connections
Confusions
Collections
Collaborations
Confessions
Combinations
Contracts
Confines
Conbines

Suspended Animation

2007-05-22T19:44:00.000-07:00

Cartoon-like images
Sculptures of kids and puppies
Weary adult expressions
Major attitude
Choppy arrangements
And salty vocabulary,
Wrapped in intricate packaging.

Past the point of no return
We are caught in suspended animation.
When we take one step beyond
We are experimenting with terror.
Rosemary's Baby will no longer cry for me.

When the devil rides out
On a three-pronged carriage,
The flames of the present
Will extinguish the embers of the past.

The brainchild of a monsterwork
Will help me forget the forgotten.
With a single stroke of the pen,
History is re-written.
I open wide the gates of hell,
Where we are caught in suspended animation.

Enchanted Nightmare Hymns

2007-04-26T19:12:00.000-07:00

Burning a hole
Through your condemned soul,
Tearing my heart
With your unholy words,
Live in my steps until you see
What you've done to me.

Pain and blood,
Lost love,
You'll never belong.
Wages of sin
That you can't resist,
But where will you go
When it comes to your end?

Walk in the path of your misfortunes
Scorned with thorns,
A new hell on earth is born.

Within my heart
I've always been free
But these scars from you
May never heal.

I will not be seen
When you stumble upon my dead dreams,
And in your hour of need
I will not answer your screams.
I will disappear,
Never to be seen again.
Then we'll see how you survive.

When will I awake from this enchanted nightmare?

10/15/8/14

2007-04-25T19:47:00.000-07:00

...Yet the defects of my human body,
Created by the plastic mold of the life period,
Has not appeared as it once was.

Decompose In The Dreams You Behold

2007-04-25T19:46:00.000-07:00

Any simple man's dreams
Lack great detail,
As details turn into
An out-of-body experience.

As I think deeper
Into the half-full glass,
I come to realize
That this realm of a millennium
Is half-empty,
Much like the right side of my mind.

I wish not to abolish all my thoughts,
But just have that aphrodisiac-like effect
In which my head becomes numb
And my mind floats
Into another realm of this millennium.

Although the rain may fall,
Lightening will not strike me
Because you strike me every day.
As I stare out of the wet window pane
And the clock hits 12:58,
My out-of-body experience ends
And the children's laughter
Will be heard no more.

We Don't Need To Inhale Sorrow And Feel It's Toxic Hallucinations

2007-04-22T19:47:00.000-07:00

Though the tides swiftly pull me under,
I cough up the seas
And it's ever-calming breeze.

My mind still functions
Although the water wants to eat me alive.
The seaweed's filthy claws grip my feet
And the coral slashes at my ankles,
Making them bleed.

The ocean's rage will dictate how I die.
I knew I would become the water's next meal.

I pleaded with the sea, asking
"What debt must I pay?"
The waters replied.
Not with words,
But with a sign.

A single seagull flew over me
With one leg, one eye, and three wings.
The grey clouds cast a shadow on my lifeless body
As I drifted further and further out.
I could have sworn I saw the hand of God
Pointing at me that day.
"You are like the single seagull.
You may not have any physical deformities
But think about what is in your mind.
Within your mind, is the key."

I understood what the sea said to me.
I knew the reason why.
Because I am nothing but a creature;
A worm.

Serving no purpose
Than a purpose of my own,
I lay back
And let the tide swiftly pull me under.
I cough up the seas
And it's ever-calming breeze,
And take you with me.

Your Songs Forever Sung; The Tunes Of Dissolution

2007-04-19T19:13:00.000-07:00

The darkness dances in my favour
And it's fires bring me bliss.
The deliverance of your cruel sword
Has set my spirit free into the night.

Your life and my death
Rule beyond time
To fulfill a divine destiny
Of destroyed illusion,
The only solution.

Your tongue has been stained black
And it embraces me.
When you kiss me with your bloody lips
It drives me insane,
But I know that these flames
Will be the death of me.

I'd ask you to let my spirit in thee,
But I'd cut my throat in extreme ecstasy
Just to watch you die.
For that, there is no other fond desire
In my heart.

I know that making me feel malignant pain
Is your pyre,
But you'll be sorry
When your funeral
Is a funeral of fire.

Decomposing Illuminations Of Shadows

2007-04-19T17:48:00.000-07:00

I remember walking along the shoreline that day
Thinking of what was to become of me.
Blistered by the flames of what is unknown
Burning whole through a hole in the stillness of time.

Decomposing illuminations of shadows
Swimming in my misfortunes
Tearing my heart with your unholy words.
Worshiping the ground
Until the death of me.

Heaven's dissension
Leaves me with a feeling of emptiness
And despise, bearing the burden
Of your only sign
Which happened to be a lie.

Trembling in dismay
And forced to believe
Your weak light
Is not what I hoped for.

Standing in your shadow
I've come to realize
That this dream of mine
Is wasted.
Under the sun
I've come to despise
And this scream of mine
Will forever be heard
In the back of your mind.

Eulogy Of Formaldehyde In Your Malignant Brain Tumour

2007-04-19T07:38:00.000-07:00

As the hours and days come screaming
You never smile the same way twice.
The time has come.
Keep your eyes open
Because you ever know.

If you think it's watching
It's because it is.

Live your life
And you'll understand.

Immoral Conduct

2007-01-24T19:13:00.000-08:00

Distinguished apathy
Distored reality
Unnoticed sympathy
Subject of a study
Examination of the human body
Cannibalistic sodomy
Failed labotomy
Temporary permanency
Human irresponsibility
Christmas in February
Seasonal discrepancy
Extended summary
Conscience and rivalry
Technical Technicality
Religious ceremony
An unknown family
Stages of spirituality
Spiritual mystery
Unending misery
Living without harmony
Withheld accountability
Assimilated individuality...
There is to be no retribution.

Bullshit Three-Ringed Circus Sideshow of Freaks

2007-01-24T19:09:00.000-08:00

Step Right Up!
Step Right Up!
See the human in a can!
Too gross to see,
Half-Woman, Half-Man!
See it mad,
See it sad,
See it scream,
See it's skin, green!

Clowns running around
The man on stilts that fell down,
The lions roar at the crowd
While it's tamer just sits there.

Come see the man
With the extremely enlarged hand
And the woman with two heads
That stare at each other
And shout curse words
At the human in a can
That's half-woman, half-man,
At the clowns,
At the man on stilts that fell down,
At the lions that roar at the crowd,
At the tamer that just sits there,
At the man with the extremely enlarged hand,
And at each other.

Harvesting The Deceased After Being Ripped Apart By A Machine During A Farm Death Trip

2007-01-07T13:08:00.000-08:00

The string quartet playing your song
Sing for her
Sing for me

Caught in our clear brainfog
Love dump
Dove lump

Some feel the effect of your opium confessions
Welcoming
Circling closer

Travelling prelude of mad museums
Housing us
Arousing us

Steamlines of psycho aerials
Caught in one
Spoke in puns

Uniting the broken dishes
Return to flesh
Return of guests

Brain removal device
It must be nice
To feel nothing
When death replaces life.

Stale Emotions

2006-12-30T18:40:00.000-08:00

The crowds have been thinning,
The road to devastation widening.
Entombment of myself is imminent
Shouting wishful words
Over the words of my desperation
For one reason, and one reason only:
Because some people seem happier
With the odd man out.

Stale emotions develop into a stale ending
Where one's closed wounds will become open scars
And the rising tide of the wave
Will rest itself against the harbour
Although it will not wash away
The ruin written on the walls
Of a saddened child's bedroom.

At the ends of the earth
And at the end of the day,
No one can see behind
The face that expresses a silent solitude
But tremors on the other side.

The execution of reason
Is not reasonable to some
For an undefined reason.

Say what you will,
But all of the others
Are just a plague,
Full of lies,
Deception,
And deviation.
Why haven't you noticed?

Get this:
I'm better than them.

The Concept of Continuities and Change

2006-12-20T18:44:00.000-08:00

Altering nuclear behaviours,
A declining question?
Failure of prevailing assumptions
And examination of a structure
In which particular social arrangements existed
With reorganization of organizations
Resulting in upheaval.

Exchanging boundaries
Baised, defining who and what we are.
Force-fed individuality through a tube
On a day-to-day basis,
Excreting a fermented discharge
Of a pretense to a past-tense reality.

Ongoing confrontations,
Origins rooted in a definition, expectation, application
During a pitted dash
Between ordinated subordinates.

CORPSEGRINDER

2006-12-19T18:08:00.000-08:00

Hate and Ignorance strengthen the need
Finding what I want only heightens the greed
Fueled by an unknown powers the intent
The agressions can finally be released
Set on a path to eliminate

We've seen people dead on the outside
What's it like to be dead on the inside?
The light is fading, pain is imminent
They only come out at night

Dig up the grave, dirt pushed aside
Rotting flesh awaits
I should beg you not to kill me with one blow
But to tear me limb from limb
That thus my martyrdom might be prolonged
I would like to be a mere limbless trunk

Come fire and cross
Gashes and rendings
Tearing of the flesh
Breaking of bones and mangling of limbs
The shattering in pieces of the body
Come the wicked torments of the devil upon me.

The Last Chronicle of Charlie

2006-12-19T18:07:00.000-08:00

Silent and cold, it washes all away
Confined to these bars, I know
For I am not entirely alone
There's more of them out there.

Girl In A Box

2006-12-19T18:06:00.000-08:00

No breath six feet under
Suffocating, spewing dirt
Entrapment in a box
Blank fear embraces and builds
Beneath the dirt

Calling for help, no one hears you
Begging to live, no mercy is shown.
Did this happen, or was it only a lie?
An empty myth, no truth to be told.

The Gospel of Judas

2006-12-19T18:04:00.000-08:00

Betrayal

Scripture written for faith,
Pages upon pages of oath
One bad seed is all it takes
To ruin the glory
To ruin the preaching
To ruin the pure
On these pages lies the...

Betrayal of Judas
Mindless Minion of evil
Exiled from the land of God
He is the forsaken one

Damned paradise has fed my sword,
The cross showed it's power
The noose crumbled my word
Of faith
Of faith
Of faith
In this, the betrayer, lies the...

Gospel of Judas
A fragment of fresh birth
Taken from a revelation
To feed a hungry damnation

In this, the other Judas, where the only ghost is Judas
In that, the other Judas, where the holy ghost is Judas
Have you ever seen God?

Saints & Sinners

2006-12-19T18:03:00.000-08:00

Curse thy prophet
Ressurrect thy martyr
Stab thy Christ
Hang your beliefs...

Hang your beliefs on a cross
Cover it with a bloody veil
Demons take control of the heaven in my head
Stand silent in flames, they won't go away.

When I crawl out of this hole you'll be mine
Between me and you, you walk a fine line
Now I have to make a choice inside...

To hang my words on a stake
Bury them with tainted soil
Bestow the wrath of God in your heart
Stand silent in flames, your body will burn away.

Bestow the wrath of God
I dont' want it
I'd rather die.
I'd rather die.

Nailed To The Sky

2006-12-19T18:02:00.001-08:00

A sacred head surrounded
By a crown of piercing thorns
A bleeding head so wounded,
Cut open and sentenced to scorn.

In a bitter passion,
The glow of life fades
In the heads of your enemies,
They know their life decays.

Behold the wood of the cross

Crucified, laid in a cave
You lived to die for faith
Like the last trampled rose
You took the fall.

Hang yourself on a cross
Right-side up, or upside down?
Bloodrush the the head
A world now is drowned

Were you there when all was crucified?
Were you there when they nailed Him to the sky?

666

2006-12-19T18:01:00.001-08:00

Deny me before man
And I shall deny you
Before my father in heaven.

Shattered

2006-12-19T17:59:00.000-08:00

My agony is deep
It withers into rust like acid on metal
Every piercing arrow you throw is painful
It remains the source of a common blaze

Cold inside, I spun a web that lost
To your concrete earth
Truth and lies that couldn't be broken
Only you were the liar.

Your shadow echoes in a mirror
Vision of darkness on shattered glass
Cutting to the core of me
I want to fucking kill you.
I'm going to fucking break you.
I know I've almost got you.
And annihilation will reign supreme.

Cold inside, I had a heart that lost
To your concrete insides
Truth and lies that couldn't be spoken
Only I was real.

Do you know the difference between power and a distant extinction?
Or the hate that has swallowed up my mind?
I'm shattered because of you.
This is no paradise.

Monarch

2006-12-19T17:52:00.000-08:00

Every horror he awaits is divine
The sermon as a whole hisses corruption
It nears the cross, the blessed element

Killing of the son,
House of the fly,
The vigour of malice,
Aide of tragic damnation

In a diabolical oath of faith
In the granted cry of dust
It demolished the shadow of a furious monarch

Strung out in sin,
Reign of a genocide,
The challenge and the killer,
Give in to madness

My pyre is evil
The falling of a monarch
Plagued the world

Killing of the son, Strung out in sin
House of the fly, Rain of a genocide
The vigour of malice, the challenge and the killer
Aide of tragic damnation, give in to madness.

Council of the Devil

2006-12-19T17:11:00.000-08:00

A world full of lust, the council of the Devil
The infecton has shaken all.
Evil inside, I have forgiven the reign that has
Taken us by storm,
That planted itself in us.

The arrangement of the sky belongs to me
Spiritual, circular, invincible, diabolical.

Frail Archetype

2006-12-19T17:10:00.000-08:00

Ready. Aim. Fire.
The only three words that wrecked a world
Looking through the eye in the sky
I now wish for a better world
What have I done to cause such a thing?

Tomorrow's promise of brightness has only brought shades of black
A diary stripped of its pages
A car blown to bits
Its rusted gears tell a story of fallacy
And defeat.

The skies that were once white and blue
Have become black and green
Toxic gas fills the air
The crater destroys a history of life
Now amounting to nothing.

I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.

Blood Stain Hurricane

2006-12-19T17:08:00.001-08:00

The light has turned to dark
The blood is watered down
The bodies lying still
There's no way out of hell now

Your blood splattered on the concrete
In a useless pattern
Circling 'round and 'round
It's time for destruction

Pull me under
Push me in
Suffocate
Inside this blood stain hurricane

Theories of a Victim

2006-12-19T17:06:00.000-08:00

Victims fear being blamed for their victimization or fear retaliation from their abusers.
Victims are the abusers.

Victims blame themselves for the violence perpetrated against them.
Victims hurt themselves.

Victims accept or tolerate assaults.
Victims are intolerable.

Victims don't know where to turn for help.
Victims don't need help.

Victims suffer from psychological disorders, and cannot recall abusive events or are not aware that they were harmed.
Victims are the cause of their own mindless minds.

Happiness (Dead Man Walking)

2006-12-19T17:05:00.000-08:00

On a hot winter night, a dead man, walking, said to me
"Look down. Look down. You're standing in my grave."
"I know," I replied. "I'm happy."
And with that, the man left in a daze.

The man knew it was his hole
But I was happy and carefree
It was a hot winter night, I'm told
When a man said that to me.

"I don't remember much," I said.
He told me: "You'd better watch out, or it'll be you."
"But why?" I asked the man.
And he said, "Because you're not really happy, are you?"

And on my way home that night
I saw that man in his grave, lying dead.
With my body not putting up a fight,
I went home...
And put a bullet through my head.

An Unopened Letter

2006-12-19T17:03:00.000-08:00

I once wrote a letter...
About exoskeletal reformation,
Reforming itself through the waves
That crash against my skull.

"Hey man, can you gimme a dollar to get some wine?"
I knelt down before you
And begged for help.
You had the same thing
That I've wanted for a year....
Not a dollar.
It was one of life's tragic ironies
That made me give up.

You wiped away from my eyes
The blank stare of the breathing dead
When I thought you really cared.
My heart began to grow wings
Small wings...
Feeble wings...
But wings.
I threw my bottle of wine
Out onto the curb
Understanding it would breathe life into me.

You released me from my shadow world
Of panic...
Fear...
Self-Hatred...
Oh, what a lonely prison I was living in.

My letter ends:
"Wherever I may go,
Sober by your grace,
One day at a time,
I thank you...
For ruining my life."

Shadow Without A Shape

2006-12-19T17:02:00.000-08:00

Between the motion and the shadow
Between creation and conception
Between desire and descent
Lies the broken jaw of a lost kingdom.

Gathered on the beach of a dead land,
A death valley,
Walking alone during the eleventh hour,
The stone images of a fading twinkling star
Form prayers to a broken bone.

The man of dissonance
The challenge of shade without a color
Those who have crossed his path
Let go of a life and existence.
Counterfeit places,
Sightless changes
The way this world ends.
At the brightest dark hourAs eyes reappear,Life can be very longBut the truth can(not) set you free.

Shadow without a shape,
Paralyzing movements.

Puzzle? II

2006-12-19T16:58:00.000-08:00

smileS
revengA
unDead
needlemaN
black and whitE
bled for dayS
suggeStions

Forest
consequence unknOwn
waR?
structural defEct
Vermillion
gEntly
suRfacing

bLeed
blIster
eVerything
disasterpiecE
corpSe

mInd
miNd

Mind
breEd

Exquisite Machinery

2006-12-19T16:57:00.000-08:00

Vanished soverign morbidity
I hold the truth to all lies
And denies
Of an application to become the teeth.

Gods of chameleons
An exquisite machine of necessary torture
That is used as a frontal flesh remover.

Preaching to the converted
When the converted
Are a conversion
In the process of converting
An exquisite machine of necessary torture.

Black and white coloured reveries
That reflect the cancerous spread
Of your grey-stained ash soul
And irresistable fork in the road.

Baby, the church bells toll for you.

Schizoreality

2006-12-19T16:55:00.000-08:00

Schizophrenic thoughts
Of a schizoreality and gnawing teeth
At your feet.
A dying breed, which I am.
I am them.
An unguarded sense of failure,
And the subconsciousness of a contradictory reality
In which we feed.

Origin unknown,
An unending spiral of paradoxal spirals
And in mind's mirrors we feast
On a luminescent undirectional being.

True lies lie in an awakening
Of a marketeering flesh goddess
With searching ties
To our minds.

Reversal hiding
In a time abiding
In a sun shining
With us dying.

Catch Thirty-Three

2006-12-19T16:53:00.000-08:00

All human freedom - autonomy - is lost.
Unsaved by the gods, and leaving our imprint, is our loss.
Anything enchanting in this world is disenchanting.
Our world today is a paradoxial spiral
But these paradoxes are what make the world
Our world.
Re-Inanimate the scrolls.
Vertical entrapment of our souls
In the back of Mind's Mirrors.
In Death - Is Life,
and In Death - Is Death.
Shed your skin for the blood of the martyrs.
Personae Non Gratae - I am not grateful for your existence.
Please leave.
I will dehumanize you
To Sum it all up.
Catch Thirty-Thr33

Everything To Gein

2006-12-19T16:51:00.000-08:00

Life submissiveness
A man quarelling with his wife
And now it will be no more
At least that's what she said.

He's just a simple man
A man full of power and strife
And now it is there no more
At least that's what he said.

He was a man who made his own choices.
He made the choices inside of his own skin
And the choices inside of other people's skin
Until he wasn't able to make his own choices anymore.

Insulated reveries,
Fucked up memories,
Caught in the hemisphere of the windowpane.
Mutilated telepathy,
Drugged up armory,
Taught by the atmosphere of one man's pain.

He was so soiled
In the thoughts of
Everyone else being dirty
When love is meaningless.

Masquerading sickness he had,
And never covered it up.
But those who were mindless,
Never figured it out...

Until those soiled thoughts
Were spoiled.

Puzzle?

2006-12-19T16:49:00.000-08:00

vanished
acrid placidity
nebulous
imprint of the unsaved
Sublevels
Humiliative
Entrapment
Debt of Nature

Nothing

2006-12-19T16:48:00.000-08:00

One man stands alone,
Stands different.
Different standing people is all he sees,
Sees nothing in them.
Sees nothing in him.
Laughing stock avaliable for purchase,
When it fits into your schedule at any time.
Loving broken love,
That once was to be.
Black humour caressing their lips,
The tips of fingers,
Sensitive touch,
Mean nothing to them.
They thought nothing,
Until they saw what seemed to be,
The big piled boxes of nothing,
That were once dull-skinned.
Amazing sights and thinking embrace.
Two sticks in hand,
Vertical smiles appear,
Headlights above.

Space

2006-12-19T16:47:00.000-08:00

Toxic fumes invest in air.
Truckers convoy the highways,
The skyways,
Built on crooked land,
For crooked people,
Developed from crooked thinking,
Turning into crooked pictures.
Time invests in life.
Life that is good will never fail for heaven.
Life that is wasted will never fair for hell.
The world goes 'round in a circle,
And the circle has no corners,
The circle is unbreakable.
The world invests in space.
Spaceships and stars embrace.
Humans invest in space.
Space invests in us.

Words of a Man

2006-12-19T16:46:00.000-08:00

Words of a man
At the mercy of a red pen
Words of a man
At the brink of chaos
The hypnotic hallucinogens echo in the back of his mind
After riding in the back seat of a broken down car
That never moved.
In a place where the quiet riots
Plot against the noisy silent films,
And the 9 thousand chemicals
That know in the slack of a rope,
In the back of his mind.
Moving forward, not backward,
Upward, not forward,
And always twirling, twirling, twirling,
Towards freedom.
Words of a man
Written down in red pen
Words of a man
At the sink of inhumanity
Words of a man
Needing greed to feed the need for
The words of a man.

Seasons

2006-12-19T16:44:00.000-08:00

The weeds weaving in my direction,

The quicksand braces me

With its gentle, sinking, suffocating feeling.

The dawn of day holds unimaginable beauty

Of disbelif and decay.

The rain pulls down again

Born on a persistent 19th of June.

With the pain taking hold again,

No, No, No, No

I know that I'm alone within

I can feel the pain pull down again.

I miss the taste of the ferris wheel,

Of the fair.

As with the culture of China,

The dark-skinned children dance.

The circus elephant mauled and killed

The club bouncer.

But why, Mr. Announcer?

Obscured

2006-12-19T16:42:00.000-08:00

Today I may die
And can't deny
The calling of Nil.
Of Nothing.
I am encountering a strange revival
Surrounding deep-skin abrasions
And a reality that can only be real for the real world.
We are nuking our food at the same time
That whales are being nuked.
A month is just a collection of days
Days, the gathering of hours
Hours, a collaboration of minutes
Minutes turn into seconds.
Time serves no function
Except to functionalize our minds
To design a concept that is neither rational
Or functional.
Like time, we serve no other purpose
Than our own existence...
An active inactivity.

Midnight Wild Fires

2006-12-19T16:40:00.000-08:00

Worldly possessions and mid-life afternoons
Crossing paths in the dim light of partial moons
Naked white pages, awaiting a pen.
A pen is but a pen,
Time is of the essence.
Extreme death desires,
A midnight lit with wildfires,
Because of your unnecessary totality ability
To play with matches.
A surviver,
An ocean diver,
A firefighter,
A lighter,
And a provocative creature in a blood-stained red dress,
All stopped in an arrested silence of a routine traffic stop
For a violation of an aggressive profession.